How My RV Lifestyle Taught Me to Embrace Uncertainty
When the calendar flips to a new year or a new season, it feels like we get a fresh start. Whether that’s carrying out the things previously on our list or establishing new habits, we can dream anew who and what we want to be.
On the flip side, there are so many unknowns. Will we meet our goals? Will we stay healthy? Where will we journey, personally and professionally?
For most of my life, I’ve set aggressive goals for myself and used structure and systems to push past obstacles. But what I’ve learned on the road (and in running my own business) is that I need to learn how to exist in discomfort. For me, discomfort comes in the uncontrollable.
Text on the upper left says Speech Practice Times, with a self-portrait that reminded me to memorize the speech. Yes, I also practiced what I would sign in my friend’s yearbooks. Always be prepared!
Structure = comfort
When I was in the fifth grade, I earned a spot in a statewide speech competition. I don’t remember much about the preparation, but my mom took a Polaroid of the practice schedule I’d made myself.
Then in college, I set my mind to graduate in four years, even though I had two unrelated majors, worked part-time to pay for school, and had a busy activities schedule. I held tightly to the schedules I made myself, particularly in the semesters I had over 18 hours of classes. (Truly, how did any of us get through our 20s??)
I’ve taken comfort in structuring my life and my time, which helped me wrest control over the unknown.
Structure = inflexibility
However, I started to realize that structure and systems can leave me inflexible. When I overscheduled myself in college, I allowed very little time for spontaneity. When I created detailed schedules and to-do lists, one change would cause a ripple effect that ruined the time I’d spent scheduling it all out.
When my husband and I made the radical choice to hit the road as full-time RVers, I hoped that our new lifestyle would force me out of my comfort zone. My friends and family knew how much I valued stability and predictability, and were all very surprised I would willingly accept a life of constant change. In fact, I was the one in our relationship who pushed for RV life!
Embracing uncertainty
What I’ve learned in the last two years on the road is how to embrace uncertainty. It’s impossible to prepare for everything, especially when you’re planning a big trip across the country. I often have a general sense of our route and will book particular anchors along the way (especially in places or on dates I know will be busy). But there were times this past summer when I literally didn’t know where I’d be parking the RV a few days later. My husband’s work schedule is also very fluid, so I’m never quite sure when/where he’ll be with me, and that adds another layer of complexity in route planning.
The happy accident I stumbled upon is that inaction on my part actually reduces the number of choices I have to make. If I try to book a campsite in a busy place, booking close to the arrival date means I might only have two campgrounds to research instead of the 15+ in the area. In psychology, this is known as the paradox of choice: we actually fare better when given fewer choices (listen to this great Hidden Brain interview with Aziz Ansari - there’s just too much jam!! I’m currently reading Barry Schwartz’s book Paradox of Choice, which I also recommend).
Although I’m still inclined to plan every moment of every day, I’m learning how to exist in two minds: what I know for sure right now and what can change.
What scary thing can you embrace?
Maybe you’re happy with uncertainty, but you struggle with meeting new people. Or you have a hard time staying organized. Consider ways you can force yourself to leave your comfort zone. I’m not saying you need to sell everything you own and live and work in an RV… although that is certainly a valid option! But take time to reflect on how you can fight against your natural tendencies. I’d love to hear your ideas!